30 Years of Love in 5 Questions

"When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates - my kids are gonna be right about that."

If that quote sounds familiar, you are probably a fan of NBC's hit show, The Office. I remember watching this episode with my dad during one of our nightly routines in Wisconsin. Then a middle school student, it struck me what those words meant. Having just moved 1200 miles from the only place we knew as home, I was able to evaluate our family without the everyday blur of hometown formalities.

I was aware of how my parents' relationship was such a constant in my life. In my eyes, it had never once faltered. When my elementary school best friend found out her parent's were divorcing, I didn't believe her. I thought that was something that only happened on TV.

Luckily, I was one of the kids who assumed correctly, much like Jim and Pam's children. Thirty years ago today, my parents exchanged rings, my dad wearing quite possibly the snazziest tuxedo of all time and my mom wearing a dress an 80s country music star would have picked out.

In honor of this momentous day in history, I have compiled advice on love from the experts, Mike and Michelle Neyenhaus.

1. When did you know you were ready to get married?

Mom: Ha, that's funny.
Me: Care to elaborate?
Mom: Honey, do you remember this? We were out at grandma's. I said something along the lines of "When we get married," and you said "We're getting married?" So basically, he knew when I said it.
Me: Dad, what did you think was going to happen?
Dad: I'm not sure.

2. How would you have reacted thirty years ago to finding out where you are now?

Dad: I'm not sure I understand the question.
Mom: Like, if someone came up to you on our wedding day and told us we would be living in Tennessee thirty years from now, how would you react?
Dad: I'd say "bullshit."
Me: But you knew you would still be together.
Both: Oh, absolutely.
Mom: I don't think there was ever another option for us.

3. After all these years, what has made you stay?
Mom: Again, I don't think there was ever any other option. It's what we have always known.
Dad: Exactly, I don't know how I could live without your mother.
Mom: Everything we have done has been together, ever since day one. Even when separate, we are still living our lives together.

4. How did you prepare to be parents? What were you're biggest fears?
Mom: When you're young and dumb, you don't prepare.
Dad: "We're going to have babies!"
Mom: I didn't even know babies had to be on a feeding schedule! I always wondered why Megan was constantly crying. The poor thing was hungry. We were so dumb.
Me: But you had those motherly instincts, right?
Mom: I guess. I mean, she's still here.

My older sister Megan and my dad lounging on the world's ugliest couch circa the early 90s. 

5: What are your hopes for your children's marriages? (Assuming I get married.)

Dad: For them to be as content and happy as I have been all these years, even happier.
Mom: Yes, me too.

My mother and father proudly standing with their first (but no more special) daughter and new son-in-law whose anniversary will be here on the 18th.

A couple of weeks ago, my mother and I were in the car discussing the emotional challenge of cleaning out my late grandmother's house. It was something no one wanted to do, but was ultimately a task that had been left for my mother to endure. I wanted nothing more than to erase it from my mother's mental to-do list. They were to leave the following weekend, me staying behind to watch the dogs. I kept trying to find ways around it, feeling guilty for not being there for her, but my mother reassured me, "With, your dad by my side, I can do anything." I was taken aback by how matter-of-faculty my mother had expressed this to me. She was not saying it in a corny, cliché way. She said it as if she was reading the statement from a textbook.

I am forever grateful to be have been given a life observing unconditional love. Being a realist, I have a hard time believing in soulmates and for a while I thought relationships were simply a requirement placed upon us by society and to be more trouble than they are worth. Again, my parents have shown me the world is not as bleak as it seems.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my mom and dad for answering my goofy questions and letting me pretend to be a journalist for a few minutes. If it was not for all you both have sacrificed to give me, I would never have as many doors open as I do.